it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
