he wants to bone in the snuggie
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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