Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
