Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
