That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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