Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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