for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
