Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
