What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
