VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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