Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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