I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
