plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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