: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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