another moral hangover. fuck.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
