i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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