i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
