I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
