i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
