hotel room ftw
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
