I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dicks are not precious.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
