Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize