I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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