Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
