There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
