I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize