Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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