I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
