did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
