I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
