so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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