she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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