I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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