What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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