she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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