o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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