white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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