sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
