The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I did not marry a roomba.
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