My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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