Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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