Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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