There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
