I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
