sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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