dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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