i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
