He told me they were just razor bumps!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
