Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize