Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
