when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
