I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
