why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
