I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
