Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
