No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
